Being a first-generation Macedonian-American, at times I have felt that my diasporic identity places me into two worlds, both mutually-exclusive. Diasporas are inherently “nationalistic”: severing ties with their “Old Country,” people desire to keep alive and protect their cultures, identities, and traditions in their new homelands. Certainly, the attitudes within my house reinforced a distinct Macedonian consciousness: the portraits depicting the revolutionaries Pitu Guli, Dame Gruev, Nikola Karev, and Jane Sandanski once hanging above my family’s fireplace now rest in my apartment. Unfortunately, these desires have also resulted in many within the Macedonian diaspora adopting hyper-nationalistic attitudes, attitudes that misappropriate and incorrectly interpret our legacies, refusing to embrace being “American.” Similarly, at times I have struggled feeling American “enough,” as though embracing this aspect of my identity diminishes my Macedonian consciousness. This reconciliation, along with the complexities of the term “Macedonian,” have shaped my research and historical interests. Today, Macedonians exist as a transnational ethnic identity, and so my research focuses on our ethnogenesis and our identity’s place across the wider Balkans and an increasingly globalized world.
Naturally, being a Balkan-Turkish scholar at times can be quite exhausting, given the discussions and topics that can arise. My research is quite heavily invested into political history, but also emphasizes the socio-cultural, particularly folklore. Traditional costumes, dances, and music truly capture the spirits of consciousness, making the ethereal tangible. An identity’s triumphs and successes can be seen in these cultural expressions, expressions in which I believe can help bring the Balkans closer together. Across the Balkans, so many cultural similarities exist: it is from these shared cultures, and pasts, that I construct my own Macedonian-American consciousness, something existing within a wider pluralistic identity.
Maalesef, folklore doesn’t always provide the necessary escape. Food, has always been a big part of my life. My family has always been in the restaurant business; my dad has been a chef for 30+ years, has owned-and-operated several restaurants, we have a catering business, and our current restaurant has been open for nearly 14 years. Some of my fondest memories from childhood are going to banquet halls over weekends, helping my parents set up for events. Suffice it to say, I’ve been cooking since a young age. Largely an American diner, our restaurant also offers traditional Macedonian dishes, like ajvar, burek, čebapi, kajmak, lukanci, and makalo. So, you can usually find me in the kitchen. The Balkans and Turkey have rich culinary traditions, connected by the region’s Ottoman past: I seek to explore these connected pasts and traditions.